newwrinklethemovie

Give us Your Poor, Tired and Turkey Necked

Last night I googled the word “unalloyed” to find the definition.  I clicked on the dictionary site and right above my word was an ad for Lifestyle Lift.  Now this caught my attention even more than my original intent to expand my vocabulary.  I realized that I’d probably seen Lifestyle Lift advertised at least a dozen times over the past couple months.  But seriously, hovering over the definition of a word? The other day when I was at the gym Lifestyle Lift was blaring on the TV.  The aging news reporter said how it changed her life and she’s never felt better.

It seemed I couldn’t get away from this new cosmetic procedure, so I decided to check it out, clicking on “get a free consultation” button.  I saw that Debbie Boone was the spokesperson…she looked great, bet she’s had a little Lifestyle Lift herself.  I read the ad copy, “Linda F, age 71 was suffering from wrinkling and sagging skin…Lifestyle Lift removed her turkey neck.”  Then I noticed the phone lines were open 24/7 and up pops “Nina” to book me an appointment.

As I began chatting with her online she noticed a little hesitancy on my part in which she wrote, “anything holding you back?”  It was at that moment that I realized I had clicked my way into a well oiled marketing machine.   Nina told me there were four doctors that were of the highest caliber in my area.  They were standing by to help the poor suffering turkey neckers get their dignity back.  I knew I had enough and in a split second, poof, no more Nina.  I thought about all the times I tried to book an appointment with Kaiser and couldn’t see a doctor for weeks for something far more serious than a turkey neck.  If only our healthcare system could be as simple and accessible as Lifestyle Lift, but I digress.

Plastic surgery is a $15 billion industry.  Doctors know this is where the money is and are turning from general practitioners and pediatricians to specialists in cosmetic procedures. Meanwhile, the advertising industry does its part to make women and men feel bad about their looks while giving them instant access to relieve themselves of their misery.