After years of waiting for something amazing to happen to me, I realized the life I had was always happening but it seemed like it would never end. I can’t tell you the amount of years I wasted waiting for the perfect job, man, house, friend, acknowledgements, awards, money. Everything geared toward the outside to validate that I was part of the tribe. My mind was so tangled with the needs, wants and desires of others, I had no clue where to even find mine. It didn’t seem all that necessary as long as long as I looked good on the outside.
Then something funny happened — I turned middle aged, and guess what…ding, ding, ding. No more waiting. This is really it. Next came the question, do I continue living my life like something will suddenly barge into my life and say, ok, now (old) lady, it’s time?
It’s just more of the same except for experiencing more hormone flare-ups aches and pains and wrinkles. It suddenly occurred to me if I wanted anything to change, it would have to be an inside job.
It was despair and relief at once. Fear that I wouldn’t be the cutest girl in the room anymore (people may not even notice me, especially younger ones), many won’t want to know what amazing thing I’ve pulled off, who my new boyfriend is and what concert I just attended.
While I teeter on the boarder I’m about to cross I’m filled with excitement and curiosity.
Aging humbles us, it’s true, but it also awakens us to how precious life is and how very fragile.
I challenge you, should the middle years be a time to shut down or time to finally get started? Should it be time to hang out or to stop messing around? I mean I would like nothing better than to plop down with a bowl of popcorn and watch Family Feud and Judge Judy every night. But my soul is truly craving more. Souls were encoded to accomplish.
In our hearts, many of us feel that we’re finally really ready to do something radical. Whatever it is we’re here for, we’re itching to do it now.
With what’s going on in the world, there’s more opportunity than ever to get active and creative. The pink pussy hat was probably knitted by a kick ass grandma. On no, no more nice girl, though if that’s in your nature fine, but be authentic at any price.
It’s your last chance to get it right. The generation now experiencing midlife cant stand the thought that this was all for nothing. While we may be depressed that we’re no longer young, were ecstatic that we’re no longer clueless. Remember those prolonged butt stares in the mirror and asking friends how your boobs looked in your low-cut blouse. Does he like me? What will they think of me? Those days are gone. And really, did you ever really like that catcall from a rangy, tobacco chewing construction man hanging from a line anyway?
Now is time to burst forth in your greatness without the encumbrances of wasting time wanting people to like you for being what’s expected, not what’s real.
You might call it the recovery from “youth-it-its”
You are not too old. You are right on time. And you are better than you know.
Midlife is our second chance. If you want to spend the years you have left simply reenacting the dramas of your past, you can. The same scrip will indeed be coming around again for your review. It always does.
But if you choose, you can take the script and give it an awesome rewrite, totally get on top of your material and take a bow at the end that blows everyone away or maybe only yourself.