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Aging Out Loud

Melissa+Etheridge+wxTr1btZX8umI look at other blogs on aging and read the comments made by women to gage how they are feeling about growing older. I like the blog Growing Bolder.  A quote by singer Melissa Ethridge caught my eye: “I would not trade in my 50’s for any other time I’ve lived. If you’re facing 50, don’t be afraid. It gets so much better and you get so much more stronger.”

The remarks that followed were varied…here are some samples:

“Loved turning 30, 40 but turning 50 has me on edge.”

“Best age so far.”

“Oh lordy, I’m pushing 60. I’m scared, real scared.

“Not enjoying mine at all.”

I’m curious to know what others think about their age. Yes, it’s scary because we are getting closer to death, but a lot of our negative feelings may be coming from what society says and feels about aging. And the point is not to be silent on the issue. The real power comes from women sharing our challenges, fears, joys and dread.   This is the time to speak up because we have more wisdom to spread. We have made mistakes and grown, learned what’s important and what’s not, retired our need to get everyone’s approval and our constant need to feel “important.”

Come on baby boomers we haven’t gone through all this only to become invisible. If a woman is alone watching yet another wrinkle cream commercial she will inevitably feel bad about her skin, looks and maybe even grow depressed. She might turn to Botox, fillers, surgery spending hundreds and thousands of dollars to keep up a youthful appearance. I’m not saying that is wrong or bad; it just sends a message to the younger generation that looking your age is not acceptable.

I admit I was one of those who feared 40 and was terrified at 50. I noticed that many women didn’t want to talk about the aging process — one of the reasons why I started this blog. But we don’t have to be rock stars, actors or models to make a statement about age. We can talk to one another in neighborhoods, communities and blogs that challenge the status quo.

Melissa Ethridge

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Clips and Tips on Aging

In this video blog I take a look in the mirror.

Material Girl Turns Back the Clock

Many thoughts entered my mind as I watched Madonna during Sunday’s halftime show at the Super Bowl.  From the image she projected with her elaborate costumes, you would neveImager guess that she is 53.  I always loved her music from the time I was a young woman — Borderline was more than a song to me, it motivated and inspired me.  I can still play that song today and instantly feel like a teenager singing into an imaginary microphone in front of a huge crowd.

So, as I watched, it made me nostalgic and a little sad.  Don’t get me wrong, the Material girl looked great, not exactly the image that comes to mind when you hear the term “middle aged.”  But then I thought about the celebrity culture and how women need to present themselves as perfect specimens, show no signs of aging what-so-ever.  George Clooney has deep wrinkles etched around his eyes, but you won’t catch one of those pesky lines on Madonna’s porcelain skin.  I wondered what it took for Madonna to turn back the clock.  Of course she won’t reveal that she’s had work done, somehow she magically defied aging, and talking about it would only make her, well, human.  While she is silent on the issue, those who specialize in cosmetic surgery say she’s had the following procedures performed: Botox, injectable fillers, a face lift, cheek implants, laser treatments, skin vein treatments, breast implants, skin tightening, a nose job, and fat taken from her butt and injected in her lips.  

Some of you might ask, so, what’s wrong with that?  I’m not arguing the merits of whether plastic surgery is good or bad.  What I am proposing is that we we create a dialog in this country about what it means to be an older woman in our society.  It seems that all too many women in their middle years are like Madonna, silent on this issue. As the producer of New Wrinkle the Movie, I will give women a voice.  One of those voices is Tamara McClintock Greenberg, a San Francisco psychologist  I interviewed for the film.

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